12 Things You Learned From Season 2 Of “Orange Is The New Black” That You Should Have Already Known.

Orange Is the New Black Season 2 Gifs
(image via oitnb)

The Netflix hit “Orange is the New Black”  took audiences by storm last summer when the prison dramedy captured our gaze with its funny yet realistic portrayal of a group of female inmates serving time at the fictitious Litchfield Penitentiary. Viewers were happy to finally get a taste of real folks, especially WOC being represented in a wide range of roles and personalities–there’s transgender character Sophia played by the remarkable Laverne Cox, Crazy Eyes (Uzo Aduba) a chacter who suffers from mental illness, Taystee (Danielle Brooks) and Poussey (Samira Wiley) the hilarious dynamic duo. My obsession with the show has only gotten worse, and I’ve happily indulged in some serious binge watching. I’ve finally finished season two and instead of a recap, I’ve created a list of things you’ve more than likely observed from the always funny show that you should have known prior to watching.

1. Finding a job ain’t easy if you have a criminal record

Taystee did add some well needed comic relief after the slow pace of the first episode. In the second episode, a mock job fair has Taystee vying for a falsely drudged up position for a possible job on the outside. She ends up winning the competition but the rumor of a possible job had her hoping of a better future once released.

Orange Is the New Black, Danielle Brooks, Taystee

All jokes aside, studies have found that “a criminal record presents a major barrier to employment, with important implications for racial disparities. The reality is that some employers do get a small tax break for hiring felons but the majority of the job market doesn’t participate in the small incentive from the government. Unfortunately, once you’ve had a strike or a few on your record, employers tend to stereotype and shy away from hiring anyone with a criminal past. This in turn helps create the revolving door of recidivism (the cycle of going back into the system multiple times). “The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness” is on my list of books to read this summer as it directly relates to this very issue of mass incarceration in the United States. I would highly recommend reading it. Also, check out the video below of author Michelle Alexander.

2. Black Don’t Crack

Lorraine Toussaint

The wonderful Lorraine Toussaint plays the manipulative Vee on Season 2 of the show but the actress, in her fifties, couldn’t look any better, proving that black definitely don’t crack!

3. The Lesbians Do Love Them Some Man on Man Erotica.

Flaca Orange Is the New Black
(image via yviwashere.)

The joke that I’m sure some of “OITNB” viewers failed to get. It was Flaca (Jackie Cruz) who basically said that she doesn’t watch straight porn because it objectifies women but man on man porn on the other hand, hot shit!

Corbin Fisher
(image via Corbin Fisher – NSFW.)

In reality the lesbians do love them some man on man action. I don’t have any academic evidence or well researched journal articles to prove this theory but the next time you take your favorite lesbian out for drinks just ask her. As for me, I wouldn’t know anything about all that… (bullshit!)

4. America would undoubtedly fall in Love with Samira wiley aka Poussey.

Poussey, Samira Wiley
(image via madonnaddolorata.)

What can I say about the Julliard School grad. Samira Wiley aka Poussey exudes a certain charm.  She’s almost foolishly loyal to Taystee– a quality that’s admirable, has an irresistible smile, and her wit and intelligence is just plain sexy–all these qualities and more are precisely why America has fallen under Ms. Wiley’s spell. Case in point.

And this scene, which took some serious acting skills, after all Wiley did go to Julliard.

(image via forevertween)

5. Lesbians, Don’t Ever fall in Love With Your Straight Best Friend.

I think the key word here is straight. Just like you can’t change your yearning for the same sex, your straight best friend nine times out of ten will not be pining over yo ass. Why? Because she likes boys. Period. Sure it’s easy to fall in love with your straight soul mate because she understands all your flaws and all, but fight the urge.

Danielle Brooks, Samira Wiley, Orange Is the New Black

Danielle Brooks, Samira Wiley, Orange Is the New Black
(image via pousseys)

P.S In real life, Wiley (Poussey) and Brooks (Taystee) are good friends. They attended the Julliard School together.

6. Don’t eva, eva, evaaaaaa lie on the witness stand or the legal term, perjure yourself.

Orange Is The New Black
(image via orangeisthenewblack)

Piper received, well, nothing when she perjured herself. Remember the Lil Kim case anyone? As with most laws, the penalty for this offense varies in the U.S from state to state, but perjury can be punishable for up to five years behind bars.

7. Hiding a sharp weapon or any weapon in your mouth is just plain stupid, c’mon!

Orange Is the New Black
(image via orangeskins.)

8. Laverne Cox would get the much deserved love that she is due.

Laverne Cox, Orange Is The New Black

The outspoken transgender actress and activist has been on a campaign, touring college campuses and speaking out on talk shows and such about trans issues. Recently reigning on Time magazine’s cover, Cox is bringing much needed attention to a very marginalized group of people.

9. The “crazy” ones are the ones who normally make the most sense

Crazy Eyes, Orange Is The New Black

Crazy Eyes, Orange Is The New Black
(image via orangeisthenewblack)

It is still such a hard task to talk about mental health in a compassionate and intelligent manner. Over the past two seasons we’ve laughed and watched the charades of  Crazy Eyes and fallen in love with her character. But, I just wonder if we would be as caring and understanding in real life towards someone dealing with serious mental health issues.

I’m sure you’ve seen this hilarious video.

10. When in doubt always go for the 40 oz aka 40. It’s a sure way to temporarily cure the blues.

Orange Is the New Black

11. Hell hath no fury like a woman lesbian scorned.

Alex’s ex punched Piper and then she sent her poop on fire in a bag (gross but hilarious). Now, us lesbians are a many great wonderful things BUT when it comes to gracefully breaking up I would say crazy and hilarious stories are typically what ensues. Examples of this: “stealing” the dog you got while you were together. Showing up unannounced to your exe’s work to air their dirty laundry. Showing up to your ex’s date crying, proclaiming that you are still together (this actually happened to me but it was funny so it’s all good).

12.  Us ladies have two holes downstairs.

Orange Is The new Black

It was Poussey who pointed out the fun fact but Sophia was the one who actually educated the ladies for a hilarious aha! moment.